I think as humans, we fail to recognize a lot of things. I know I do! Things about myself. Things about others. I think we spend more time trying to recognize the needs of others before we can recognize our own. Do you know there are more articles written to help business’s figure out customer needs than your own personal needs. Society likes to make people believe our needs can be purchased in a store.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but no one taught me how to recognize what I needed to be happy. I had a hard life. Really hard. I like to joke with my friends that I am going to write my own book called ‘Series of Unfortunate Events’. I was convinced for a long time I would never be happy.
Every single day for me was a struggle. From dysfunctional childhood, my parents messy divorce, falling into the wrong crowd, dropping of school, countless deaths, foster homes, abusive relationships. From a toxic marriage to being a single mom, struggling to keep food on the table. I think I spent 20 years in Fight Mode.
Than one day I woke up and realized I wasn’t struggling anymore. Overtime I had managed to save some money and buy a car. With that car, I was able to get a better paying job and for the first time in my life…I had money in my savings account!! If my son got sick and missed a day of school, that no longer meant a bill wasn’t getting paid.
At the same time, my son had become a teenager and didn’t need me as much. Now I had time on my hands like never before and I had stability. That’s when I realized that I had no idea how to be happy. I had spent my life staying in bad relationships just to be in one. I stayed in bad jobs just so I could pay the bills.
So here I am…trying to figure out what I need to be happy.
I’m learning to pay attention. To find out why I do certain things. Why do I speed when I am not in a rush? Why it bothers me when people drive under the speed limit, lol.
I have spent a lot of time looking into my past. I can see fights that started because I needed someone to listen to me, not solve my problem. To bad they didn’t teach us how to be happy and mindful in school. I probably would have skipped that class anyway.
When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do I need right now?”